Savannah was 29 years old when she was given an autism diagnosis. She was thrilled beyond words and could hardly wait to begin creating a life she loved for herself. Since there is still some negative stigma attached to this issue, she hoped to raise awareness of it. Her goal is to see that everyone gets the education and employment that they deserve, while also recognizing that they are all individuals with special qualities. Even more tragically, she learned she had autism after becoming a mother.
For those who knew me prior to the year 2021, they knew a totally different person.
Savannah’s sadness, anxiety, and perfectionism were brought on by years of minimizing who she was in order to fit in with those around her. Putting other people’s needs before her own, she abandoned her own individuality and concealed her unique qualities.
She began her quest for self-identification with online INFJ communities, TED talks, research articles, YouTube testimonials, and online autism assessments.
Like a chameleon in a paint store, I blended in to be accepted by society by acting in ways that were regarded socially acceptable.
“I was labeled shy, introverted, quiet, perfectionistic, sensitive, people-pleasing, emotional, naive.”
Savannah was raised under a variety of false assumptions about who she was. She put on a public front by competing in pageants and other events, including Miss America, for which she won the crown and went on to represent her state. She was co-captain of the cheerleading squad, a straight-A student, and valedictorian of her high school.
She was confused, insecure, and weak on the inside, yet she covered it well enough to protect her outside world, at the expense of her actual self. In such a vast and uncertain world, it is wisest to “fly beneath the radar,” as it were.
“From the outside looking in, I had it all: ambition, good behavior, and moral compass. My internal monologue conveyed a quite different picture.
Savannah dropped out of college after experiencing a series of traumatic events, but later returned and graduated with honors. They wed and welcomed their beautiful daughter Aurora in 2016. She realized that the indicators of her difficulties were tied to autistic burnout, and she made the decision to embrace herself despite the fact that it was difficult to fit in socially with other parents of young children.
We were young and in a hurry when we got married, and we had a hard time communicating with each other.
Savannah was nervous about opening up to her husband, but she knew she needed to pull out all the stops if she wanted to surprise him. Her 11-year partner would naturally be understanding and accepting of this change. Her mental health could have been preserved if she had known her mental stability earlier, but she would never have met her husband or had their daughter.
The man of few words that he is, after hearing this “info-dump,” he mumbled, “Makes sense!”
Savannah was identified as autistic in June of the year 2021. When she realized it wasn’t her fault and it wasn’t all in her head, all of her problems and self-resentment melted away like water through a sieve. In order to achieve complete tranquility, it was necessary to first get a greater understanding of the situation, and then to accept it.
“Autism was diagnosed on June 7, 2021. After hating myself and being miserable for 29 years, I finally found solace in realizing that my problems were not merely psychological.
When she finally understood who she was, her life became less complicated. Her enthusiasm for the arts skyrocketed, and she found a new way to communicate with others through her writing, music, and other forms of creative expression. After receiving her diagnosis, she was finally able to relax and be genuine.
She is not a broken person; rather, she is an autistic woman who has persevered through adversity and come out on the other side.