Weddings are supposed to be joyful moments, but they sure cause a lot of heartache, not to mention major holes in people’s pockets. But for the most part, things go pretty smoothly, or at least, they should be. But these Reddit users shared stories of some of the worst things they have ever witnessed at a wedding, and let’s just say, that the word bad doesn’t even begin to cover it. From awkward toasts to photobombing family members, these stories are going to make you want to either stay single or go all Britney Spears and elope!
Best Man Didn’t Agree With the Relationship
Reddit user ARocketKnight introduced the best man thinking the guy would give a great speech in support of the bride and groom. But he quickly started wondering whether he should have pulled the plug on the microphone after the man started sharing how he really felt about the couple.
“Was a wedding DJ for 7 years. DJ’d several hundred weddings. Seen a lot of stuff.
One horrible thing I’ve witnessed: I introduce the best man to give his speech and hand him the mic. He starts out by saying, (paraphrasing because this was years ago but pretty close to the quote IIRC) “Well, there were a lot of things that I didn’t agree with in this relationship when it first started, and that I still don’t agree with because it’s seriously messed up and unbalanced and the dynamic is too one sided, etc. etc. (he’s starring at the bride while saying this, proceeds to trail off)…… but……that’s not why we’re here today. We’re here…….. to celebrate the marriage between Jack and Ingrid…..so I just want to say congratulations, best of luck to you guys, etc. etc.”
Everyone in the whole place was just looking around, glancing nervously at one another. Afterwards the father of the groom or bride (can’t remember which one) comes up to me and says, “Thank you for not cutting the mic. I saw you looking at the head table and at us for direction and when you didn’t get it, you didn’t act.
I appreciate that because I think it would have been even more awkward if he had just been cut off and didn’t get the chance to at least come back to congratulating them. Most awkward compliment I’ve ever received.”
The Groom Couldn’t Keep It in His Pants
Reddit user Ball_in_uh_cup was in a bit of a bind. He was witnessing two of his friends getting married but the groom was a total sleezeball who couldn’t keep it in his pants. But things got really weird when an anonymous text went out at the wedding that blew the lid on his cheating ways.
“Two of my friends got married. The groom cheated on his bride quite often, including the night before the wedding. An anonymous text was sent out and spilled the beans to the bride.
A fight ensued, but the wedding continued as planned. Also, the girl that did the bride’s makeup for the wedding…well, that was the girl who had been sleeping with the groom. I have never witnessed a more awkward situation in my life.”
Father of the Groom Was a Photobomber
Reddit user SteroidSandwich witnessed the wedding photographer having a horrible time trying to take photos. That’s because the groom’s dad was taking photos too, and whenever he did, he ended up getting in the frame of the actual photographer.
“My dad taking pictures at my brothers wedding. It doesn’t sound bad, but he was getting in the way of the photographer my brother hired. Ever pic he tried to take my dad was right beside him inching him out and pushing him out of the way.
My brother and mom were both really pissed at him.”
She Wasn’t That in Love With Him
User Winkers was the best man at a wedding, which is why his heart went out for the groom when the bride confessed something heartbreaking. But hey, on the bright side, she still felt confident that he’d make a good life partner.
“I was best man in a wedding. I was standing next to the couple at the reception and the bride was tipsy (groom was sober). She told him aloud “I’m not really that in love with you….
but I think you’ll be a good husband.” The look on his face sucked all the joy from me. He tried to laugh it off and told her to hush but he was tearing up as they walked away.
I was so sad for my friend. They are still married after 5 years but I never know what to think about them and I’ve never spoken to him about it.
Edit: Thanks be to the stranger for the reddit gold. Also, thanks to everyone for helping to bring my friendship back into focus…. I’ll be checking in with the couple to see how they are (he is) doing this week over drinks and dinner.
UPDATE: I just wanted to update this post, particularly since it’s surprisingly one of my top posts. I had dinner this weekend with my guy friend mentioned above. After a few beers I asked how they were doing.
I also slipped in the memory of his wedding day and how it affected me afterwards. He was pretty quiet for a while. I mean, we normally talk about pretty shallow stuff like playoffs and whatever geek tech is out.
He said he’s basically living a decent life but she is in fact not truly in love with him like he is with her.
And it’s true… he is a good husband and she is a good wife in that she does every expected thing as a partner. He said they are like two friends who live together…. and sometimes have sex, so he figures that there are much worse ways to live.
They don’t yet have a child but have planned on it and hope to someday. When they’ve each needed some support (mentally, financially, sexually, socially, etc), they try to help each other out so that’s been good.
Bottom line: Is he happy? Yes. Does he wish that he was with someone that adored him like he adores her? He doesn’t think that anymore because he’s made his choice and it’s at least ‘not sad’. So we drank a little more and I wished him a good night later.”
Hostess Fell Face First on the Cake
Redditor Scrappy_Larue witnessed a wedding hostess trying to carry the 3-tier wedding cake all on her own without the help of a cart. But she had butter fingers when she dropped the cake, but the wasn’t the most embarrassing thing that happened to her.
“Only horrible for one person. The main hostess for the reception of about 30 guests. She carried in the 3-tier wedding cake, rather than using a cart.
She not only dropped it, but fell face first into it on the floor. First dead silence…then a few giggles….and then her emotional breakdown like I have never seen before. She was completely devastated from both the embarrassment and ruining that special moment. We all eventually assured her that we’re half drunk and don’t care about the cake. The best part was that she easily collected $1000 more in tips than she would have had that not happened.”
The Groom’s Father Dropped the C-Word
According to a former Reddit user, the wedding was going great until the groom’s father decided to drop one of the worst words ever—the C-Word. No, not that one. The other one.
But it still led to a pretty awkward moment.
“I’ve only been to one wedding and it was dad’s cousin’s wedding. My dad’s uncle (the groom’s father) did a toast when the groom and bride were at the alter (is this normal? Everyone around me seemed confused), and he said, “I’m glad I made it out here today. I just want you guys to know that I have cancer and I’m going to die soon.
Congrats to my son and his beautiful bride. Enjoy your time!” Everyone was in complete silence. It was the most awkward thing I’ve possibly ever witnessed. FWIW, this was in 2008 and the groom’s father is still alive.”
His Underage Drinking Made Him a Wreck
Lesanonymous was underage and Irish, which explains why his legally of age family members were okay with him getting drunk. But it was the first time he had ever drank alcohol and things got so bad that he never made it to the wedding.
“I never witnessed this as it was me that was the worst thing at this particular wedding. I had never touched alcohol in my life, and I mean ever. I was 15 year old and it was my uncles wedding.
Before the wedding ceremony, my uncle, my dad and my grandad all went to the pub to have a few drinks to start the day (Irish by the way).
As I was going with my dad, I went to the pub. They ended up giving me three pints before the actual ceremony, so I felt drunk before 11am even. After the wedding, there was a pre reception for close family and friends, about 80 people, then in the evening, a bigger ceremony for a few hundred people.
The small ceremony was fully paid for, fully catered and meant to be the “intimate” party. All my cousins and family were at this, and I have a few cousins the same age as me, and a couple of years older than me, all who have been drunk before, but it being my first time, I didn’t know how to drink, so I was drinking it like water, and as I said earlier, the smaller party was fully paid for, including the bar.
So with the three pints I’d already had, I think I drank a further 12 pints of lager, in about 3 hours. I was wasted. I was stumbling round, bumping into things…luckily not causing a disturbance or damage, but generally not knowing what I was doing.
At 4pm, they had to call for my mum to come and pick me up from the wedding…yes all this before 4pm.
By the time she got there, I was in the toilets being sick constantly…I had family coming in checking on me and every single one of them telling me something different to sober me up, so I was drinking water, pouring water on my face, pouring water on my wrists (apparantly cools the blood down?) so as well as being sick, I was drenched cos I was pouring water everywhere, I made an absolute mess of the bathroom.
To top it off, on the drive home, I kept my head out of the car window because I needed fresh air, and I threw up as we were driving past a police car. I never even made it to the wedding reception because I was so drunk. I didn’t drink lager for maybe 5 years after that.”
The Wedding Became a Medical Emergency
Reddit user KUARCE and his bride had no idea that the happiest moment of their lives would include a heart attack, and a fainting spell. But he realized he had chosen the right person to spend his life with when both incidents led to lots of laughter.
“I’ve shared this before, and in the end it turned into a story to retell, but the pastor officiating my wedding had a heart attack, and my (now) wife and I caught him as he fell. We have video of my wife, in her wedding dress, consoling the pastor’s wife, who was in tears behind the podium. One of my groomsmen is an ER doc and handled the situation well, and the pastor finally came back around.
He was stubborn and insisted on finishing the ceremony (through the sound of sirens of the ambulance coming for him). Then my brother (best man) passed out minutes later. Apparently he had put on the wrong collared shirt and it was too tight around the neck. At least the EMTs had something to do while the pastor finished up.
My brother spun and handed the rings off to ER Doc groomsman as he fell, and my wife and I just busted up laughing at that point.”
Their Wedding Was Out of Service
Cspyny was sick of waiting for the bride and groom who weren’t on time for their own wedding. In fairness, it was one of those days where nothing was going right for the couple, which is why he forgave them.
“Bride and groom were 2 hours late to the wedding. Neither one of them has a license, but had to have a wedding out in the woods. They never thought to contact anyone and ask for a ride to their wedding.
Of course they didn’t pay the cell phone bill and it got shut off. Didn’t matter because there was no cell reception where we were anyway.”
The Bride and Her Mom Made a Run for It
Backstop recalled a family wedding where the bride and mother-of-the-bride made a break for it. But first they took the wishing well full of cards with money and drove off, turning a house wedding into a regular family party.
“There was one in my family where the bride and groom had taken the money given to them for a wedding to buy a used car, so the wedding was at a relative’s house. Nice house, out in the country, like, but still it’s a house not a church or a hall so things were a little crowded.
The groom and his fellas show up pretty late and possibly slightly baked and try to hurry up and change into the tuxes. The bride loses her sh*t and shoulders her way into their room and slugs the groom right in the eye. Bride and mother-of-bride come stampeding down the stairs in front of all the guests, grab the “wishing well” full of cards (with money), jump into her Camaro and tear off in a spray of gravel.
The owner of the house appears and tells people there’s going to be no wedding, but since the food and everything is already out hey might as well hang out and eat and drink as planned.
My mom leans over to her husband and says in a stage whisper “Could you get our gift and put it in the car?” Everyone about dies laughing at all this and the food and drinks were consumed as though it was just an average family party.”
It Was a Bloody Bad Wedding
GroupGuide witnessed a bride who wasn’t dressed for an outdoor wedding, which led to a stressful situation. And then the bride accidentally injured the groom’s eyebrows, which causes her to swan dive dramatically off the dock.
“My time has come. Good friends getting married; it was a medium-sized wedding (no more than 75 people, including the bridal party and groomsmen). The bride’s sister-in-law is pissed off something mighty.
It was a wedding and reception by a lake, and everyone knew the venue, so we dressed accordingly– shirts and comfortable trousers, sundresses and sandals, etc. Sister-in-law is dressed like she’s heading out for an evening of dinner and dancing. Sky-high heels, tight dress, rhinestones everywhere. She looks gorgeous! But it’s not comfortable. And we’re outside.
The ceremony is sweet… except for the words “F*cking bugs… f*cking pine needles, goddamn dirt…” that’s being picked up from the small (yet apparently mighty) microphone up front.
Right after the ceremony, we walk over to the gazebo/picnic area where the reception will be, and the sister-in-law starts lobbing her high heels at her husband, screeching about what an awful day it is, gashes her husband’s eyebrow open. While people are scrambling to get him napkins because facial wounds bleed like a motherf*cker, and try to get him into a car to drive him the the hospital for stitches she decides to up the ante. She says “I can’t take this anymore!” and throws herself off of the dock in a dramatic swan dive.
The problem is, the lake at that point was only four feet deep, and marshy, so instead of a suicide, she just sort of… bobs? along in the water because everyone’s more concerned with her husband’s eye/face. Sister-in-law’s father just turns towards the lake, tells her to get her ass out of there and cut the sh*t. They pile into two cars and drove off.
It was surreal.”
Everyone Clapped and Cheered Over a Tragedy
Reddit user Grobi52 was a banquet chef at a Country Club on New Year’s Eve. That’s where he witnessed one bridal party announcing the sudden and tragic death of the father of the bride while another bridal party cheered and applauded.
“I was a banquet chef for about 5 years at a Country Club near Vancouver, where we had 4 reception rooms. Quite often we had more than one wedding on the same day, which could get interesting with parties running into each other. On New Years Eve (this was probably 2003-4?) we had two weddings, one upstairs and downstairs, so no worries normally.
I was working the upstairs wedding, when the father of the bride had a heart attack during the reception, and was rushed to the hospital.
Obviously it was quite somber, but the guests were still trying to celebrate the wedding, while the mother of the bride and a few family members were with the father. Unfortunately, the family found out the father passed away in the hospital, and decided to announce it to everyone. Right as they told everyone (no joke, like 30 seconds later), the party downstairs were starting a countdown for an “Toronot New Years”, as many of the guests and family were apparently from there, and celebrating it at 9pm for the time difference. So as everyone in the upstairs banquet room was in shock, they heard 100+ downstairs cheering and singing with joy. To say the least, one of the most awkward moments I’ve witnessed.”
It Was the Battiest Wedding Ever
Reddit user Shelbyknits was invited to a wedding but she couldn’t find the place to save her own life. Fortunately, neither could the father of the bride. But by the time they finally found the right place, an unexpected wedding crasher left everyone reaching for crosses and holy water.
“My husband and I were invited to the wedding of a military buddy of his. We were running a little late, but weren’t too worried. We got onto base and headed for the main chapel (there are three or four chapels on base).
When we got to the main chapel, it was apparent that there was no wedding going on. Looked at the invitation again. It just said “Post chapel” and gave an address. So obviously, this wasn’t the post chapel that the bride had intended and I whipped out my phone to look up the address. We drove to that part of the base and found the place. It was some sort of administration building, definitely not a chapel.
We were confused, but we found a building with “Chaplain’s office” on the directory so we figured we’d been invited to some sort of civil ceremony. The building was locked. Now thoroughly confused and late at this point.
As we were wondering what we should do, we see an older gentleman in a tuxedo wandering around. He’s pretty clearly in the same boat. Turns out he’s the groom’s father and he doesn’t have any more idea what’s going on than we do.
After a few more minutes, a soldier arrives. He’s the chaplain’s assistant and he’s looking for lost wedding guests (namely the groom’s father). Turns out the bride put down the wrong address and the wrong chapel name on the invitation.
By the time we got to the wedding (which they had delayed because the groom’s dad was missing), the bride was in tears. I felt so bad for her.
They finally started the wedding, and the chaplain gave an awkward sermon about “being clothed in Jesus’ love” and lost his place several times. Finally, as the ceremony was over and the guests began to applaud, a bat fell down out of the ceiling and died. Craziest wedding I’d ever been to.”
The Bride Decided to Run Off
Reddit user Kilen13 witnessed something that came out of a Julia Roberts movie. The groom was waiting for the love of his life to come walking down the aisle so they could tie the knot. But the person who walked down the aisle wasn’t the bride; it was the bridesmaid and she had dire news.
“The groom waiting at the end of the aisle all smiles and happiness until a bridesmaid came quietly walking down the aisle and pulled him aside to talk to him. The bride had run off.”
The Rain Ruined Everything
Reddit user Simplerthings wasn’t there for his parents’ wedding day personally, but he had heard the horrible story about how a terrible rainstorm led to a lack of wedding guests, a band that was a no-show and an accident that nearly killed his mother.
“My parents had a pretty disastrous wedding. I wasn’t there to witness it but my parents and the guests tell the stories all the time.
The wedding was in July, they were expecting a hot, sunny day but it ended up being a major downpour. My mother had a taxi scheduled to take her from her hotel to the church, due to the rain the taxi was super late. As my mother was waiting, in her wedding dress, she gets hit by a car.
She gets knocked to the ground, but it wasn’t hard enough to break any bones so she just walks it off. Unfortunately, her dress picked up a lot of the mud from her fall and a big chunk of lace was torn. It turns out the car that hit her was actually the taxi that was supposed to pick her up.
She finally makes it to the church, my father was in tears, on the verge of a nervous breakdown thinking that she wasn’t going to show. Again, because of the rain, about a third of the guests didn’t make it. The rest of the ceremony went ok.
At the reception, the hotel was understaffed due to the rain and the DJ couldn’t make it (again, due to the rain) so the reception consisted of guests sitting around in a silent room waiting for food. A plus one soon decides that she is literally dying of hunger so she goes up and cuts a slice of the wedding cake for herself before my parents had taken pictures with the cake or sliced it. On the positive side, later on they discovered that a restaurant in the hotel had a jukebox so the restaurant lets them move it into the banquet hall and they’re able to pop in some quarters to get music playing.
It was a disaster at the time, but now they look back at it and laugh. Edit: This was near Chicago around 40 years ago. They’re no strangers to rain so I’m assuming it was some monsoon level storms or flooding… I never thought to ask.”
Bride Threatens Mom With a Knife
Redditor CaptainLameO witnessed a bride grabbing a knife and threatening her own mother after the latter left one of the bridesmaids devastated. But a brief interference from a third party allowed the mother of the bride to make a quick getaway.
“I went to the wedding of two good friends. Bride was neglected/abused by her mum as a child, but decides to invite her as an attempt at reconciliation.
So we’re at the reception part of the evening. Mum is talking to Bridesmaid, and (no one knows what prompted this) says to her “well I guess it’s a good thing you can’t have kids isn’t it?” Bridesmaid bursts into tears, Bride grabs a knife to threaten Mum (someone stops her), Mum is bundled into car by her partner, and they disappear into the night.”
Atheists vs Mormons
Reddittor Wtfapkin witnessed a bride and groom with different religious upbringings. One was Atheist and the other was Mormon. And when their moms got together at the wedding, the reason behind their rushed wedding was finally revealed.
“Definitely my friends wedding last year. They had only known each other for 6 months or so before they got married. She was Mormon, he was Atheist.
We all thought it was really weird. The parents of the bride and groom hated each other. Two moms got into a verbal argument, then it because physical. I don’t know who make the accusation, but one said they’re only getting married because she’s knocked up. Aaaaand she popped a baby out 6 months later trying to pass it off as a premee. Yea no.”
These Weddings Were All High-End Disasters
Reddit user Mr._purrfect was part of the banquet staff for a wedding reception facility and witnessed some major insanity over the years, like the bride who threw up all over her dress. But that’s not even the worst he had seen.
“Finally one I can answer! I worked on the banquet staff for a high-end wedding reception facility throughout college, here are a few…
- Bride, groom, and wedding party got super drunk so we called them cabs around 1 AM… the cabs arrived but the bride was nowhere to be found. I was doing a bathroom check and stumbled upon the bride passed out in a stall with vomit all over her wedding dress. I don’t think that dress will be passed down to future generations…
- Our banquet facility was a part of a high-end golf course.
One couple, despite our fair warning, wanted an entirely outdoor ceremony and reception as a “cheaper alternative” from having to book a banquet hall. Honestly most days it would have been fine, but right as people were asked to be seated there was a torrential downpour that lasted for about three hours straight. Everyone was soaked (staff included) and a lot of guests straight up left… I felt bad but at the end of the day it was their choice not to have a plan B.
- Had one wedding with a nice couple from a very religious family. Everything was very traditional and it was time for dancing so the DJ started with some slow songs like always but then he “kicked it up a notch” with some pretty vulgar and unedited rap/metal songs… turns out he was looking at the song requests for the wrong wedding. The looks of horror on some of the older people’s faces was pretty priceless.
- Had a group of guests close out the bar once and these two guys were both hitting on this super drunk girl pretty hard. Once the cabs showed up both guys were fighting over which guy she should “ride with” and a lot of yelling, pushing, and shoving happened… fortunately my boss stepped in and called the police who broke it up and gave the girl a ride home. Altercations like this were somewhat common so around midnight when we had a big wedding a police car would just come and sit in our parking lot for an hour or two and be available quickly if needed. This started when there was a full out fight once in one of our lobbies which included thousands of dollars in damages.”
The Cake Never Saw the Light of Day
Reddit user ScienceAteMyKid was one of a handful of people who got to see the wedding cake in all of its glory. Unfortunately, mostly everyone else at the party didn’t get to see it after a horrible mishap ruined hours of culinary work.
“The groom was a pastry chef by trade. As you can imagine, he went full-bore on his own wedding cake. This thing was a masterpiece.
Astoundingly beautiful and intricate, and unlike anything you’ve ever seen.
And the couple’s friends are also about 50% pastry chefs. Lots of professional bakers in the place. All of whom were dying to see this piece of culinary art.
The caterer’s assistant dropped the cake in the kitchen before it ever saw the light of day. The only people who saw the cake in its full glory were me, the groom, the best man, the caterer, and the groom’s baking staff.
I was watching when it was dropped, and the person who dropped it said, “Well, we’ll just serve the sheet cake.” There was no sheet cake. They scooped up most of it, and served it with a giant spoon.”
It Was a Shotgun Wedding
Redditor RancidLemons literally attended a shotgun wedding after the married couple were gifted an actual shotgun. Unfortunately, he feared that this was a mistake because he knew the type of people the bride and groom were.
“At one wedding I attended there was a ceremonial “gifting” of a shotgun to the married couple from the family of the groom. Came out of nowhere and the entire room was sat in stunned silence until the most awkward “are we supposed to clap” applause nervously quivered into existence.
What’s scary is that both the bride and groom are extremely heavy drinkers, borderline alcoholics, and the groom in particular gets very aggressive when drunk. I can’t think of a worse couple to give a firearm to. To their credit, the wedding was gorgeous apart from that.
Great food and drink, stunning location, and killer cocktails.”
The Bride Asked Another Guy to Pick Her
Reddit user Sweetestpeaest’s was friends with the bride, who came over to his family’s house and dropped a bombshell. She offered his brother the chance to be with her, and his reaction to the declaration was priceless.
“Something sort of similar I guess… My brother went to high school and college with this girl that he always thought of as a friend. Her grandparents lived next door to our’s. I was friends with her little sister.
Our parents were friends….anyway, she gets engaged and starts planning her wedding. We were invited, of course. A couple of days before the wedding she comes over to our parents house because my brother was in town for her wedding and tells him that she will leave her fiancé for him. Like, declares this sh*t in front of my family. He, of course, was all “What the actual f*ck?”. They’d never dated. They’d never kissed. He was never interested in her. She was crying super hard and declaring her love for him and it was weird. She bawled like a baby to the point where she could barely get through her vows…we knew why. Fast forward like 15 years and she’s still married to the guy. They look happy.”
The Time the “Man” of Honor Overshared
Redditor Jfal3 attended a non-traditional wedding where the maid of honor was actually a man. But this guy had a huge secret which he had kept from everyone until he told everyone in his speech how he really felt about the bride and groom.
“Wedding went well…reception went well for the most part. Various family members gave speeches, along with members of the bridal party. It was a nontraditional wedding so the maid of honor was a man.
At his turn at the microphone he basically confessed his love for the bride, and explained how the groom would not be able to treat her as well as he could.”
The Neighborhood Had Played Musical Spouses
During his aunt’s second wedding, Reddit user justice_seeker6 discovered that the entire neighborhood knew each other really well when one of the neighbors did a toast and shared that every guy in the neighborhood had played musical spouses.
“My aunt’s second wedding. She married the guy who lived two houses down from her. That’s not the issue, the worst part was the toast at the reception.
Another neighbor got up, “I want everyone to raise their glasses. 15 years ago, we all moved into this neighborhood married to the wrong people; by the end of the summer we will all be married to the right people.” Came to find out 8 couples had gotten divorced and remarried within the neighborhood, or as I call it: played musical spouses. We left very quickly.”
Groom’s Sister Had Way Too Much Fun
Reddit user _Sweater_Puppies_ watched as the groom’s sister stepped out of the limo super wasted, but she didn’t stop there. She continued drinking all through the meal which led to more chaos. In the end, the bride was brought to tears.
“The groom’s sister got sorority girl wasted in the limo on the way to the reception. She stashed a brown paper-bag with two fifths of Pucker under her chair for the Lord’s prayer. She held my hand the entire time chanting “I need to pee”.
She drank heavily all through the meal and then caught the bouquet. The guy that caught the garter had his head shoved up her dress while he was putting it on her. Once he finally emerged from her cavern of drunk doom, he was bright red and ran away.
She chased him around and literally flung herself at him to dance aka grope him in front of everyone. She got bored with that and started dancing on the DJs table. The Bride was mortified and in all but tears, so her brother picked up this drunk mess and tried to carry her outside.
This sent the redneck boyfriend into a rage and he picked a fight with the brother. The cops were called. I just sat there wishing I had popcorn to watch the mess.”
Best Man Took a Step Into the Line of Fire
Reddit user Elkab0ng witnessed a best man who took a step back on the altar and accidentally set himself on fire when his suit jacket got a little too close to a candle. And while he didn’t suffer any injuries, he looked a little worse for wear.
“It was only marginally bad and mostly funny, but, at some point during the ceremony, the best man took a step backward on the altar to allow the priest to walk past. Right into a candle that was behind him. Ended up setting his (light blue – yeah, this was the 90’s) suit jacket on fire.
It was quickly put out – happily with no injury to him other than a lost deposit on a tux and a charred shirt. Except he spent the rest of the day looking like he’d taken a mortar round directly between the shoulderblades. Much hilarity.”
The Greek Wedding Became a Wake
User Kirlefteris didn’t witness this himself but his ex-girlfriend’s mom sure did. The bridal party was doing a traditional Greek song and dance when a beloved family member fell ill. Soon the wedding turned into a wake.
“Not witnessed by me, but my ex gfs mother: A relative of the bride had a heart attack while dancing traditional Greek songs (like a big half circle of people running, she was leading the circle) She died on the spot, rest of the party was canceled. It actually made the news.”
The Groom Was in Love With His Mother
This former Reddit user was sick to his stomach and he had every right to be. The groom should have been kissing his bride on the lips and dancing with her. Instead he was busy making out with his own mom.
“The groom pretty much made out with his mother. Big, slobbery kisses on the lips. Then when he was dancing with the bride he spent the entire dance staring over her shoulder at his mother.”
The Priest Made It All About Him
User SiN-Fury’s cousin was the groom and he had one of the most annoying priests ever. The man kept on making it all about himself and wouldn’t shut up. In the end, his excessive commentary turned a 30-minute ceremony into a 90-minute ceremony.
“The ceremony for my cousin’s (the groom) wedding had the most obnoxious priest. I think he was related to my cousin or a long time family friend.
The whole ceremony became about him. Before every reading, he would explain what was about to be read for like 5 minutes, then after the reading, would explain it again for another couple minutes before explaining the next reading. He gave terrible advice like “If you’re having problems, don’t talk to each other, talk to me.
You have my number.” He mentioned multiple times how he had recently moved to Illinois (where the wedding was taking place).
Even between the vows he had to throw his two cents in. After my cousin said “I Do” he made some comment about “Oh, I thought you were going to do it with more gusto like when you’re cheering for the Bears. I DO!!!” At the end, he just had to mention himself one more time “And by the power vested in me by the state of Illinois, which I am now a resident of, I now pronounce you man and wife”.
What could have been a 30-45 minute ceremony ended up taking 75-90 minutes.”
The DJ Got Very Drunk
Redditor Treylek recalls going to a wedding that had one of the worst DJs in existence. Not only did she not have the wedding song that the bride had picked but she got totally wasted. Unfortunately, she wasn’t the only drunken mess at this unhappy event.
“The dj got so drunk that she couldn’t even stand. She didn’t have the brides wedding song, so a group of people all joined hands and tried to sing the song (some random country crap) for her and she just stood in the middle of the circle crying in her dress, and no one knew the lyrics. And her father got wasted and started a fight which ended with him destroying a stop sign with his fists.
Let’s not forget that us in the wedding party got picked up in a NASCAR stretch limo. Classy, classy, classy Florida.”
Claustrophobic Wedding Got Worse When the Food Arrived
Reddit user Aeri73 was a photographer at a wedding and he witnessed one of the most claustrophobic weddings ever, especially when it came time for everyone to dance. Then the kitchen brought out the food and everyone started ignoring the bridal couple.
“they had practiced their opening dance, a tango, in a large room. The wedding venue was a long and narrow, small room. So, 1 step forward in tango style, 3 steps forward but trampling in place due to guests sitting in their way, 3 steps backward trampling in place again to take 2 steps back to reach the other side guest and start trampling in place again…
And right in the middle of all this, the kitchen starts bringing out food (they hadn’t served any food before so this was after complaints from most guests about being hungry!) So I have video and photo’s (I was photographer) of the couple trampling, with no guest at all watching them… not even the bride’s mother… who was destroying a pack of fries with her back turned to the couple’s opening dance.”
The Best Man Hated the Bride
Moonshinetime and some of the other guests had to cheer up the best man because he didn’t think the bride was good enough for his friend. And then the bride proved them right when she went off on everyone.
“I went to a wedding with my boyfriend a few years ago. his friend was marrying a woman that NO ONE liked. she was awful.
during the ceremony we could all tell that the best man was uncomfortable. as soon as the ceremony ended the best man burst into tears for about 10 minutes and had to excuse himself. you could tell he just realized that is best friend was gone forever. we tried to cheer him up and reassure him that him and the groom would still be close, and that the bride wasn’t too bad. everyone present knew it was a lie and we were all just so depressed.
later, the bride came and yelled at our entire group (all of her husband’s friends) because we weren’t dancing enough. we weren’t dancing because they had no dj, just a short playlist with the couples favorite (not dance-y) songs being played on repeat. I think throughout the whole night we heard playlist start and end about 5 times.”
Her Cousin Got Plastered At Her Wedding
Hangoverprone’s wished she had never invited her cousin to the wedding. Not only did she get plastered, but she also brought her two kids along, which she later abandoned to make out with a random guy at a hotel bar.
“My cousin who is in her mid-40s and married with two kids got absolutely sh*tfaced at my wedding. Her husband couldn’t make it so she came down with her two kids (kids did not attend wedding as it was adults only). My dad who was my best man was so embarrassed by her behavior that he had to leave in the middle of the reception to take her back to the hotel.
After the reception, a bunch of my relatives all went back to the hotel and found my cousin’s two kids alone in the hotel room (they were like 12 and 9 years old and they were fine) but my cousin was nowhere to be found. My 86-year-old grandmother went down to the hotel bar and saw her basically making out with some random dude. Grandma told her it was time to go to bed and cousin refused, so grandma said it again and my cousin f*cking got up, shoved my grandma to the ground and started screaming for security to come arrest my grandma for god knows what.
Somehow they ended up getting her to bed and nobody was hurt or arrested.
This was over 5 years ago and I haven’t talked to my cousin since. I never saw her crazy drunken antics but I am f*cking pissed that she embarrassed my dad and made him miss over an hour of the reception (and pushing grandma is never cool). And the thing is this type of behavior came out of nowhere (at least to us) so it’s not like we had expected or anticipated this particular cousin just going apeshit at a nice formal event.
Just disappointing all around.”
Daughter of the Groom Had the Worst Time Ever
NinjaShira had the worst experience when her dad remarried. For one thing, the bride had made a pit stop at Olive Garden. The bridesmaids didn’t match and the makeup was awful.
But just when she thought the nightmare was over, she found a horrible surprise when she tried to leave.
“When my dad got remarried, it was the worst event I’d ever been to. It started four hours late because the bride decided that she just had to have Olive Garden before the ceremony started, so she loaded up all these half-made-up bridesmaids into a couple cars and drove to Olive Garden, where we waited for like two hours for enough space for all of us.
We finally got back to the church and finished with the make up. None of the bridesmaids had matching dresses because the bride decided on a dress like a week before the wedding, so she said for everyone to pick the closest thing they could find at the bridal shop. And the make up guy was a friend of hers who claimed to be a runway make up artist, but we all ended up looking like cheap 80’s hookers.
So there ceremony finally starts four hours late with a bunch of mismatched bridesmaids in horrible make up and giant hair, and two of the bride’s friends just decided to stand up next to the bridesmaids like they were part of the ceremony too, for some reason.
At the reception, there was a guy with a guitar paid to sing and play, but one of those two friends decided she was going to be the main entertainment for the evening, and she grabbed the guy’s mic and started singing in the most awful tone – deaf screechy voice I’ve ever heard. Finally it was all over and we could leave, and I went to my car in the parking lot… and someone had slashed my tires. All four of them.”
The A-Listers and B-Listers
AnotherPint went to his former business partner’s second wedding. But the bride was acting like a posh sorority sister who divided the guests into A-list and B-list. Naturally, she treated the A-List group better and left the B-Listers out in the rain.
But ironically, the A-Listers didn’t have the bride’s back.
“It was my then-business partner’s second marriage, to a prominent lawyer. She was 40-ish but behaved like a Cosmo-swilling sorority sister and was obsessed with optics, image, status. The wedding was a twi-nighter at a banquet / event center in the city.
When my wife and I showed up we discovered the guests had been partitioned into an A list and a B list. We were on the shorter A list who were invited for cocktails, the ceremony, and a sit-down dinner. The B-listers had been told to appear 2.5 hours later for cake and dancing.
During dinner the already-half-in-the-bag bride stood up and told we A-listers we were her “real friends,” the “cream of the crop,” and our standing with her was reflected in the fine catered dinner we were eating.
Things ran long and the B-listers began assembling outside. They were not allowed in but the place had storefront-type windows and you could see what was going on in there from the street. We were having creme brulees.
It began to rain and the B-listers had to stand outside getting wet and staring at us while the banquet part of the evening wrapped up. They clearly had not been apprised of the two-tier deal.
The favored A-listers were in acute discomfort. A gang of the bride’s alleged best friends, similar sorority types in little black dresses, talked major snark about her for the rest of the evening, mocking her dress, her weight, her choice of husband, and especially the uncool structure of the event.
Finally the door was thrown open and angry damp B-listers straggled in bearing rain-washed gifts. The groom was nowhere in sight and the by-now-drunk bride was doing the electric slide by herself on the dance floor. The room was thick with tension and weirdness and my wife and I slipped out before the cake-cutting.
(Later I would tell the bride how nice the cake-cutting, etc. had been and she said she had seen me and all the A-listers front and center.)
The marriage lasted about three years. Four months in the bride made a serious pass at me in the office. Shortly thereafter the sex was over and she was sleeping on the sofa (she said).
The whole wedding / marriage seemed to be merely a hook for a big party and a pretext for classifying her friends into first class and economy.”
The Groom Was Getting Busy With His Cousin
Reddit user Govzombie had joined a wedding search party to look for the groom who had gone missing. But he hadn’t been kidnapped and he wasn’t a run-away-groom either. He was simply getting busy with one of his own cousins.
“Was a bridesmaid in a wedding, at the reception we couldn’t locate the groom for the first dance. We fanned out to search for him. I found him… getting head… from his 2nd cousin.
His excuse.. he was drunk and thought it was his new wife… even though she was in a bright red dress. The marriage didn’t last long.”
A Candle Omen Frightened the Bridal Couple
Kenos99 attended the wedding of a college friend who experienced a strange omen. As the couple lit the unity candle, something unusual occurred with the wick that sent shivers down the bride and groom’s spines.
“A college friend met a girl through a dating service They had a very rocky on and off relationship. Still, they end up getting engaged and we attend the wedding. Other college buddies and I make jokes about how long marriage will last.
During the ceremony, when the couple is lighting the unity candle, the wick actually splits in two leaving two separate flames. Like the universe was telling them “This ain’t happening.” However, it’s been over 20 years now and they are still together and going strong.”
Nothing Went Right
A Reddit user’s cousin was a deeply religious Jew who didn’t want the traditional wedding march played at her wedding (for very good reasons). But he played it anyway, and it wasn’t the only thing that went wrong with this wedding.
“My cousin got married ages ago. She was a religious Jew and had apparently made 100% sure the DJ didn’t play the traditional wedding march as it was made by a
nazi antisemite. Strike one: They played that song.
There is video of her looking FURIOUS as it began.
Strike 2: The rings didn’t fit. Not like “this is tight” but like “I am a size 8 and this is a 4.” Her finger started changing colors due to poor circulation.
Strike 3: The officiant got their names wrong.
Strike 4: The officiant took a step back on the dais…and there was no more dais. He took a nasty spill off the stage, mid ceremony. My cousin and her husband have been together for almost 25 years now, so obviously these became funny stories to tell and not disasters.”
Blast From the Past
Mrsheikh watched as the groom’s ex-girlfriend arrived at the wedding, which was shocking since he hadn’t seen her in over 8 years and she wasn’t invited. But things got really interesting when the bride intervened.
“Ex girlfriend of the groom showed up at the wedding…uninvited and drunk. He broke up with her 10 years earlier, and has not seen her in over 8 years. She was loud and saying very perverted thing about what she wanted to do to the groom.
The bride steps up, goes all out and punches the ex in the face… knocks the ex out cold. The bride we know is a normally calm and peaceful person. A few of us carry the ex out of the reception and drop her at her apartment about 20 min away. Bride told my wife that “there is nothing that will ruin my wedding day.”
The Mother of the Bride Hijacked the Wedding
I0destone witnessed a mother of the bride who out of the blue decided to hijack her daughter’s wedding so she could renew her vows with her husband. But there was no happy ending for either the bride or the mother.
“After the vows and the kiss, as the couple was walking together down the aisle, the mother of the bride stopped the recessional and announced that she and her husband were renewing their vows right then and there. The husband was mortified but went along with it.
After all, they paid for the wedding, and the band, and the flowers, and they didn’t want all of that to “go to waste.” Once they had renewed their vows, the bride’s mother invited everyone to the “joint reception.” Throughout the reception, the mother loudly and repeatedly commented on how many gifts the bride and groom had received and how no one had bothered to bring a gift for the mother and husband. Never mind the fact that none of the guests (nor the wedding party, the planners, nor anyone else) knew the bride’s parents would be exchanging vows.
Towards the end, after a whole night of drinking, the drunken and sobbing mother accused the bride of stealing the mother’s “special day,” called her a whole bunch of mean things in front of her friends and family, then grabbed the wedding cake and left. The bride and groom had another ceremony a few weeks later. No parents were invited.”
The Bride Made a Shocking Confession
Reddit user Streamstroller was shocked to discover that the bride, who was an old friend of her husband’s, couldn’t keep her hands off of him, and there was a shocking explanation why, which left her husband horrified.
“At a wedding of a college friend of my husbands, we learned that the bride (his old friend) had been in love with him for over a decade. We learned this from the women at our table at the reception. We introduced ourselves while we waited for the bride and groom to arrive.
They were horrified that we were there – and extremely worried. My husband had NO idea that she had feelings for him. She bee-lined right for our table after the ‘introducing Mr & Mrs’ thing – ignoring her family and leaving her husband standing alone. She clung to my husband and sobbed – lifting her head to glare at me. She had to be pulled off of him. She repaired herself, then followed us as we tried to leave quietly – her parting shot was to stare at my chest and say, “well I guess I know what I was missing all along!” Her new husband was in shock and my husband was horrified and embarrassed – he was completely clueless and would never have gone to the wedding if he’d know she was obsessed with him. It was bizarre.”
The One With a Broken Ankle and Drunken Matron of Honor
Reddit user Maple85 witnessed an ex-girlfriend of the groom who suffered an accident after being told to leave the wedding. And then there was another wedding where the Matron of Honor did the opposite of what she was told to do and ruined everything.
- “Wedding 1 — When the ex gf of the groom showed up during the ceremony and when asked to leave turned to run and sprained her ankle and needed to be carried out by the best man.
- Wedding 2 — The Matron of Honor was asked not to drink at the reception, so obviously she chose to get rip roaring drunk, grinding on the buffet table, having sex with one of the groomsmen in the washroom, eventually had to be told to leave by the Mother of the Bride, but at this point her husband sick of her shit had already left, so she just hung out outside the hall until everyone left.”
The Best Man Wanted the Bride for Himself
Reddit user Dragpon77 was a wedding butler for a few years and thought he had seen everything. Then he heard the best man express his feelings about the bride, but that wasn’t the weirdest thing he’d witnessed at a wedding.
“I was a wedding butler for 2 years and have worked a little over 100 weddings and these are some of my favorite stories. To preface this, for those that don’t know what a wedding butler is, my job entailed setting up/maintaining/cleaning and taking down weddings. As well as catering to peoples needs regardless of what they were aside form food and drink, and if it was every needed (which is was a few times) I was also security.
- The most awkward wedding I ever worked started out like any other wedding. Roughly 120 people, nice couple, wedding was to take place outside and the reception was to take place in a large refurbished barn. Everything goes smoothly till it was time for the speeches, at this point in the night I usually slip away to a somewhat secluded part of the reception to eat and listen in case anything goes wrong, but still close enough that people could find me.
Well the best man comes up to give his speech and by this point in the evening he was already pretty hammered. It starts out normal, him talking about how he introduced the bride to the groom and day they first met and whatnot. Everything seemed normal, granted he would go on and on about the bride at times but hey some people are like that so I mostly ignored him till I hear him end his speech with how it should have been him and how he still loves her. As soon as he said that everyone went silent and it got really awkward, someone eventually ushered him off stage and the only reason I didn’t help was because I was doubled over trying not to burst out laughing.
- Unlike the first story, the worst wedding we ever had did not start out like most weddings it started out bad and just got steadily worse. so 4 weeks prior to the wedding the bride apparently fell down a flight of stairs and shattered her leg to the point she needed someone to help her walk down the isle and stand at the altar. Prior to the ceremony though at the rehearsal dinner of the 80 people scheduled to show up about 40 actually did which would sort of make sense if they lived across country, or over seas ,or something but everyone at the wedding lived under 5 hours from the site. Add to this fact the catering company for the evening brought the wrong order and there wasn’t even enough food for the people there, and to top it off the bride and groom had hired a somewhat well known bluegrass band to come play at the rehearsal dinner and they never showed up. Now that’s just the start of it, during the ceremony its self it hailed the entire time and ended just as the ceremony did. Now it was a rather windy and chilly day, and usually the bride and groom spend a good one an a half hours or so taking pictures around the property because of how scenic it is but they asked me to cut it short so they could go to the tent reception and finally relax.
Well I was driving them around on this little limo golf cart thing and the bride and groom jump in the back and the maid of honor is there with them, but no one noticed that the brides gown was hanging precariously close to the back wheel. So I start the cart up throw it into reverse make sure everyone is one and settled and as soon as I turn around and start to drive backwards I watch as the bride gets pulled off the cart and I ended up running over her other leg. I immediately stopped the cart jumped off and tended to her but before I could help her up she shoots up and loses it at the groom and maid of honor for not helping her and she apologized to me what happened and I was so stunned I had no clue what to say. I’m very used to dealing with angry people at weddings, especially inebriated ones, but almost all the time they are angry at me or one of the other staff. Anyways she calms down and I take them all to the reception that is already going down hill and fast.
So while I was away the catering company arrived and started setting up food when they realized they brought the wrong order AGAIN and while they had enough food for everyone the only thing to eat at the wedding was grilled cheese and desert. Not only that but a separate company was hired to bar tend for the wedding and didn’t realize the event would be taking place outside and so they didn’t bring enough water for the reception and very quickly had to start cutting people off. The reception continues, they have the speeches, the band actually showed up this time, and everything was going fine till this one guest got super wasted and as she was carrying a full glass of red wine back to her table she tripped and doses the bride. This abruptly ends the reception as the bride has the groom help her storm off and everyone slowly leaves about an hour before they were supposed to end.”
There Was No Place to Sit
Reddit user Tsim12345 loved the open bar but when they went to sit down, they realized that something was missing. It wasn’t the bride, the groom, or any of the family members. It was one of the most important things to have at wedding party. Without it, everyone’s legs would be ridiculously sore.
“There were no tables and chairs. Like none. They had an open bar but no fucking chairs.
Everyone had to put their drink on the ground and hold their plate to eat. It was fucking crazy.
Everyone just assumed that some sort of terrible thing happened where the tables and chair people didn’t bring them but afterwards I asked her (the bride) what happened and she just said “Oh we would have had to pay extra for that.”
Cultural Slurs Were Thrown Around
It’s a common tradition that people throw rice at the bride and groom during a wedding. But at this wedding, Redditor Jaimystery discovered that the parents of the bride and groom were more interested in throwing cultural slurs at each other than anything else.
“While in high school, a recently graduated friend got pregnant and “had” to get married. Both sets of parents were incensed that their good religious children had sex before marriage and both sets of parents were convinced that the other parents’ child was to blame. His parents thought the bride was “no better than a street walking whore”, her parents thought the groom was a “opportunistic pedophile” (she was 18, he was 20).
Then there were the cultural slurs thrown around – mostly by his family since they were white and the bride’s family was Hispanic. When the father of the groom asked if the bride’s family planned on serving “dirty rice, heh heh” at the reception . .
.I thought the grandmother of the bride was going body slam the idiot out the door.
So we get to the day of the wedding and Bride’s six brothers spend of the day skulking around like they’ve got weapons hidden in their suits. The groom’s family continued to try to convince him that he should “at least wait until the bastard is born so you can find out if it’s yours or not” right up until he went to stand at the altar.
After a very quick ceremony, the whole crowd heads off to the reception being held in the rec room of an apartment complex. The bride and groom try to make the best of it – there was no dancing or even music (because of their religion) and the food was just snack type stuff. It was a whole room of unhappy family members sucking down red punch and bad attitudes.
Then comes the coup de asshole – the groom’s sister (who was a good 15 years older than the groom) had volunteered to provide the wedding cake as she’d been making really fancy cakes for family birthdays for years. Bride was kind of excited about this since it was really the only gesture of welcome she got from groom’s family.
Sister took off right after the ceremony to go and pick up the cake and after an hour, had still not shown up. After another thirty minutes, the bride was ready to just break a chocolate cookie with the groom and be done with it when Sister arrives – carrying 3 store bought coconut cakes.
Correction – 3 of the smallest store bought cakes ever in existence AND they were obviously not fresh cakes (they had discount stickers on the boxes). Each cake said it served 6 people and there were over 70 people at the reception plus they were coconut – which the bride was allergic to. The groom’s sister had obviously spent an hour or so driving around to different stores looking for the worst of all cakes for this wedding.
(And she never even tried to explain why she did not make the cake herself as she had offered to do)
I don’t think the bride stopped crying for days and the groom just looked like he wanted to shoot his whole family.
Edited to add: This wedding was 30 years ago but after some internet snooping, I believe the couple is still together and had several more kids.”
He Shouldn’t Have Picked the Model
A former Reddit user shared a story about a groom who got a heartbreaking call from the bride to be on their wedding day. After realizing she wasn’t going to show up, he turned to his mother for love and support, but he didn’t exactly get that.
“Bride doesn’t show up after 2hrs of waiting then calls to tell the groom that she changed her mind. Groom starts crying and his mom shouts “shut the fuck up! I told you to marry Kathy but noooooo Kathy was too fat huh? You just had to chase a model! She couldn’t even wipe her ass with those nails much less cook your dinner. Why would Jessica want you? You’re broke an you’re ugly.
Kathy wouldn’t have stood you up cause she ugly too. Serves you right”
Groom continues to cry while the guests stared in shock. Yes people, Kathy was there but just like everyone else she was afraid to confront the mom. She did give him a hug afterwards though.”
Their Brother-in-Law’s Wedding Was a Disappointing Sham
Redditor Birdie 1357 went to their brother-in-law’s wedding but smelled trouble the moment they realized that mostly everyone from the bridal party was a no show. To make things worse, the gift table was virtually empty and the main source of entertainment was a belly dancing performer.
“My Brother in laws wedding was a disappointing sham. Everyone on our side of the family had to drive three hours to the brides hometown so her whole family could attend the wedding. When we get there, the bride and MOH are cooking the reception meal because the Mother of bride decided last minute that she didn’t want to.
The ceremony starts, and absolutely no one from the brides family is there. The reception has no alcohol, no music whatsoever, we had to watch a 20-30 minute belly dancing performance because one of her friends was a belly dancing instructor.My boyfriend and I were the only guests out of about thirty that had brought them a gift, lterally, there was a gift table with no envelopes or gifts at all on it. The brides mother left the reception early ” because the thrift store was closing soon”.
By the time the reception ended my boyfriend and I ended up helping the bride and groom clean the reception hall because everyone else left. The real kicker is that we later found out that it was just a ceremony, no real marriage because the bride wanted to stay married to a previous husband for financial reasons . This wedding was just a sham to convince her family that she had finally settled down with a good guy.
TL,DR: Drove three hours to attend fake wedding because bride is white trash.”
High Traditional Catholic Latin Mass Wedding Was a Fail
User Krackface learned the hard way that highly traditional Catholic Latin mass weddings are chilly, boring, and impossible to understand. But as if dealing with that seemingly endless torture wasn’t bad enough, something happened after the wedding that made them wish they hadn’t gone at all.
“I once attended a wedding of a couple that objected to Vatican 2. They didn’t believe in doing the service in the vernacular, so the entire service was in Latin for ~~four hours.~~two to three hours*
I could have been fine with that if it wasn’t for two reasons:
- It was in winter and the church didn’t have heat. Everyone was freezing
- After the wedding, the bride freaked out and had an annulment
TL;DR: I sat through a wedding in Latin for four hours in winter with no heat, and the bride called the whole thing off immediately afterward.
Edit: Look up Solemn High Traditional Catholic Latin Mass Wedding on YouTube, and you’ll have an idea of what the service was like. Looking through them, I must have been mistaken, it was probably closer to two to three hours, not four.”
They Were Melting at This Kentucky Wedding
Reddit user FreckleConstellation went to their cousin’s wedding in a small town in Eastern Kentucky and wished they’d brought their own personal fan. Not only was it an outdoor wedding but it was scorching hot and even the bottled waters weren’t enough to cool everyone down.
“My cousin got married in an Eastern Kentucky small town (more of a holler, really). It was at least an hour drive from any hotels. Their wedding was in late June.
In the middle of a field. In full sun. His wife “designed” the flowers and decorations, which amounted to some really sad looking shade plants wilting in the sun, still in their plastic pots with hooks attached, just sitting in the aisle.
It was above 90 degrees out, and they were forty five minutes late starting the ceremony. While we were sitting there, cooking in the sun, sweating through our nice clothes, they provided bottled water to help us cool down. But no one brought ice.
The bottles were stored, warm, with no ice, in bright orange 20 gallon buckets with rope handles. Which were placed on either side of the aisle. They did not do any kind of insect treatment to this field before the event. Mosquitoes and chiggers. Everywhere.
The reception was held in the middle school cafeteria just down the road. They reused the prom decorations for their reception. Because in this holler, apparently the high school prom happens in the middle school cafeteria.
It smelled like old macaroni and cheese. The provided meal was quartered squares of bologna and ham sandwiches on wonderbread with a spread of condiments. The wedding cake was from Wal-Mart.
I should specify at this point that money was not an issue. They had a fairly large budget. They just thought this was good.”
Koreans Apparently Are the Worst Wedding Guests
Redditor Joe434 experienced a bit of culture shock while at a church wedding in Korea. Not only were people more interested in the food than the wedding ceremony, but they were also paying more attention to their phone than the bride and groom.
“I went to a church wedding in Korea. I had been to other Korean weddings and knew that most people just show up to drop off their gift (money) and then hit the buffet and attending the actual wedding ceremony isn’t really required/expected for most guests.
What surprised me about this one was sitting in the church for the actual ceremony and how nobody who even came in was paying attention. Everyone was on their ipads or smartphones. I saw lots of people just playing Angry Birds (this was 3 years ago) and a few just full on having phone conversations during the ceremony.
Just blew my mind. These weren’t children, these were middle aged adults. Why even go inside if you are just going to text message or play cellphone games.”
Take Care of My Daughter or Else…
User ChapelSteps went to a co-worker’s wedding and witnessed the father of the bride giving the groom a stern spiritual lecture that left the young man in tears throughout the rest of the entire ceremony.
“I attended a female coworker’s wedding. She and the groom were both very young (teenagers) and very religious.
The father walks the bride down the aisle, and it looks like we’re in for a beautiful ceremony. But once they arrive next to the groom, the father proceeds to give the groom a lecture on how he will now be responsible for the spiritual well being of the bride. How he (the father) has been her “spiritual leader” her whole life up to now, but the groom is taking over.
While giving this speech, the father managed to strike a terrifying figure, one of those, “You take care of my daughter or I will kill you” types, only the message was “If my daughter falls off her Christian path and ends up going to hell, I’m coming after you, buddy.” The groom began to sob as he was being lectured, and it could not have been more awkward for the entire congregation. We watched the father dress down the groom, speak as if the bride had no control over her own life, and cause the poor boy to spend the rest of his wedding red-eyed and runny-nosed.
TL;DR: Father of the bride makes the groom sob with misogynistic “spiritual leader” speech. We all felt horrible and awkward the rest of the day.”
This Central California Wedding Was Dumb and Hot
Redditor Malfunkdung was at an outdoor wedding in Central California that was really hot but not in a good way. The music was bad and there was no open bar. What else could go wrong? Well, apparently, a lot! The Maid of Honor then gave her speech… and it made them wish they’d stayed home.
“Outside wedding in Central California during summer. It was over 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Shitty music.
No open bar. Maid of honor (bride’s sister) gave a really long and dumb speech in her “valley girl” talk. Every sentence had that high cadence at the end and that kind of drags out the last word. Sort of like “i can’t believe you found such a great guuuyyyyyy. I’m so proud of youuuuuu. This is a beautiful dayyyyyyyy. Blah blah blah blahhhhhh.”
She Offered to Service the Groomsmen
Reddit user Tmagnus was hanging out in a room with the other groomsmen while they waited for the wedding ceremony to start. But things took an interesting turn when the mother of the bride walked in and offered them an indecent proposal.
“The rest of the groomsmen and I were hanging out in a room off the reception hall about 30 minutes before the ceremony started. The mother of the bride came in and asked us if we wanted her to give us all bl*w jobs. She was a bad tweaker and was already drunk.
None of us knew what to say.”
A Song About Balls Sent the Bride Running
Reddit user Rpj516 will never agree to make CDs for anyone’s wedding after this little incident. It turns out that a song on one of the CDs was about balls and the bride was so embarrassed that she ran off crying while the groom went looking for the culprit.
“My neighbor asked me and my brother to make CDs for their sisters wedding. This is back in the Napster days, when we felt like badasses downloading music all day long. They gave us a long list and we busted ours butts downloading the songs and burning the CDs in such a short deadline.
We didn’t attend the wedding but we found out every cd turned out perfect….. Except the one with the song where the bride and groom danced to.
I believe it was some Nsync song or something but it only played for a good ten seconds before changing to a recording of someone horribly playing an acoustic guitar and singing a song about their testicles. The bride went running off the dance floor crying, as the groom started a witch hunt to find out who made the CDs. Luckily everyone cooled down and agreed that is must have been an accident.
Our neighbors never asked us for a favor again.”
The Groom Wouldn’t Beat His New Wife
User Danceswithhousecats witnessed a friend of the groom giving one of the most embarrassing speeches ever. Not only was he seemingly drunk, but he also insinuated that the groom might be abusive to his future wife and kids.
“A childhood friend of the groom stood up and held a speech about how the groom would never beat his new wife or his children.
The groom has no history of domestic abuse or being a violent person whatsoever. It was really weird and so embarrassing. The couple were mortified.”
Foulmouthed Kids Ruined Wedding Speech
User LordPizzaParty was filming the father of the groom as he made a touching speech about his late wife when suddenly, a bunch of foulmouthed kids cussed loudly very close to the camera. And yes! It picked up everything!
The father of the groom was making his speech, and got to a touching part about his wife, mother of the groom, who had passed away recently. I was filming from the back but got his sound okay, but there were a bunch of little kids near me playing quietly until one of them yelled “GODDAMMIT! F*CK YOU!” right as the father was tearing up. Nobody seemed to notice but it was plain as day on the tape, so I had to do a lot of delicate chopping on that one.
She Barfed on the Red Carpet
Usually it’s the bride that gets so nervous that she gets sick to her stomach, but Redditor takesthebiscuit was not the bride. In fact, she wasn’t even old enough to get married. But she was able to ruin everything when she tossed her cookies on the red carpet.
“One of the guests threw up on the red carpet at the head of all the meal tables. That guest was me. I was 10.”
Mom’s Toast Was a Closet Opening Experience
Reddit user Daybreak74 didn’t allow his mother to give a speech at his wedding. Not that you could blame him after what she did at another wedding. While deeply drunk, she insinuated that that the groom might have been swinging the other way.
“My mom toasting the groom… (not me, thankfully) and saying how thankful she was to have the bride come into his life, thereby removing any questions about the groom’s sexual orientation.
Booze may have been a factor. No way in hell did that women get within 10 paces of the microphone at MY wedding.”
They Were All Guilty as Sin
Redditor Zahne1977 was at a wedding where everyone seemed to be out of control. Not only did the bride and groom get an indecent proposal from a third party, but the best man was high as a kite during one of the most important parts of the wedding party.
“A girl that convinced the Bride and Groom to have a threesome with her that night. Edit: Also, a best man smashed on Cocaine and Ecstasy giving a speech. Apparently it was “All about the music man”.”
Mom Wanted Daughter to Pole Dance
User Admiralwaffles witnessed the bride’s mother trying to get her daughter to entertain the wedding guests by pole dancing, but when she refused, the mother decided that the show would go on even if she had to do it herself.
“Well, my cousin was having himself a shotgun wedding at his bride’s parent’s trailer. Out front, we had the wedding, and then we went to the back for the reception. There were a few makeshift tents back there.
This wedding was bring your own everything–food, chairs, tables, utensils, etc.
Anyway, after everybody eats the potluck stuff and had a few fine beverages, the bride’s mother exclaims that this party needs some entertainment. She then tried to convince her very pregnant daughter to do a pole dance/strip tease on a tent pole. Her daughter refused.
And that’s when she decided to take matters into her own hands.
It is remarkably awkward watching a middle aged, white trash woman doing a strip show surrounded by your family.”
The Wedding Turned Into a Brawl
User IWasAMidgetHorse was a guest at a friend’s wedding but it wasn’t exactly a fairy tale after the testosterone levels one up and everyone started fighting. So all of a sudden, a happy day turned into an all out war with 40 men.
“I was at a friends wedding and the brides cousin decided to pick a fight with the groom. We had a brawl, like 40 guys in a huge fight.
Chaos. Cops. Blood.
Pretty good wedding.”
The Ring Bearer Lost the Ring
User Syowangza’s 5-year-old cousin was the ring bearer, but was probably too young for such a mature responsibility. This is something the kid proved when he tossed the ring angrily at the flower girl, forcing the bridesmaids and groomsmen to get on their hands and knees.
“Well this happened yesterday afternoon at my cousin’s wedding. All was going well until my 5 year old cousin, the ring bearer, takes the cushion with the ring on it and spins it above his head, throwing it at the flower girl, my 4 year old cousin who had been making faces at him– leaving the bride’s ring nowhere to be found. It took all of the bridesmaids and groomsmen a good while of crawling around on their knees to recover it.”
Three of the Worst Ushers Ever
User Sbtier shared a tale of the three ushers at his brother’s wedding who arrived super late and drunk as skunks after drinking at a bar. But if they’d been on time, they could have gotten wasted during the wedding reception for free.
“At my brother’s wedding, 3 of the 6 ushers disappeared between the church and the reception hall (they were the bride’s brothers). The bride was frantic because the taking of the pictures was being held up, which would also delay the meal and pretty much the whole reception. They finally show up 1 1/2 hour late riproaring drunk.
They had taken a detour to the local bar. Why, nobody knows, since the reception had an open bar.”
They Beat the Love Into Him
User _Arimanius’s father shared a wedding story about a groom who made the mistake of admitting at the wedding that he had changed his mind. And when the father and brother of the bride learned about this, they beat the love back into him.
“I didn’t witness it myself but my father told me a story once of when he was at a wedding. The groom decided half way through the ceremony that he didn’t want to get married. He was then attacked by the father and brother of the bride.
After a brawl (and a few bloody noses) he changed his mind and they got married.”
She Dodged the Groom and Got Hit
User Blasterbot recalls a bride who made the mistake of shoving cake in the groom’s face. But this backfired on her when she tried dodging him and wound up with a nasty bruise on her head. Spoiler alert! The groom wasn’t responsible.
“During the cutting of the cake, the bride shoved cake in the grooms face. When he tried to return the favor, she tried to dodge and hit her head on the corner of a wall mounted cabinet. Gave her a nice bruise.”
The Bride’s Brother Ruined Everything
Redditor Phifeiras was shocked at how quickly things went from good to bad to worse at an Indian/Muslim wedding. It all started because of the bride’s brother who was a total jerk and when the groom tried to protect his bride, things got really heated.
“I went to an Indian/Muslim wedding when this happened.
Background: At Indian weddings, they sometimes do this thing where the groom and his boys show up late, and the bride’s people block the entrance. The groom’s best man then has to give a wad of cash to the bride’s people to enter and join the wedding. The best man usually gives a little wad first, then there is conflict, then a bigger wad is presented, and this keeps going on until there is clearly no larger wad left.
The wad is usually then just spent to pay for the actual wedding, but is meant to symbolize a dowry.
So this one wedding, the bride’s 18 year old brother was at the front line blocking the entrance. He was being a total dick, and taking it too far. He took the first wad of about $500 and throw it at the best man’s face.
Some people laughed, but the brother was legitimately angry. Then another wad was presently, which was about $2k. The brother took it, and then started babbling, “you cheap motherfucker.
This is all my sister is worth to you? Fuck you. You’re not good enough to marry my sister.” This was clearly too far, and I’ve never actually seen cursing during one of these. Then another 2 wads were presented, each wad was about 4 inches thick in $20 bills.
These were supposed to be the final wads. The brother took them and threw them at the groom who was actually outside. They burst apart, and there were $20 bills flying all around. There was a scramble to pick them up, but a lot were lost.
They finally let the groom in, because the little game wasn’t amusing anyone anymore. The party went on eventually. I didn’t know anyone there at all other than my sister and parents, so we just kept to our table, and people-watched.
I distinctly remember seeing the brother refusing to eat, and he was always yelling at someone. He was clearly scheming up something. At then end of the party, the married couple were going to leave and go to their hotel or something. The best man pulls up in the husband’s Mercedes SL600 with the top down.
The best man hands over the keys to the groom, who then opens the passenger door for his wife. Meanwhile, everyone else is oogling at the nice fancy sports car. Out of nowhere the brother rushes up, and holds his sister back.
He says, “I will not allow my sister to get inside this car. You must get her a limo.” The bride is trying to push her brother off, but the brother is being quite rough, and it looks pretty abusive to everyone, so the groom physically pulls the brother’s hands off. Then the brother sucker punches the groom in the ear. Everyone rushes forward to break it up, and to aid the groom. My family decide its time to leave, to get away from the awkwardness. The marriage was over then next week.”
He Got Up and Left
User WeddingThrowAway4 shared a story about how one of his aunts was doing a toast during his wedding. All of a sudden, this aunt decided to trash talk her son, who was his cousin and best friend and she wouldn’t shut up.
“This was at my few years ago. And during the toast part of the reception, one of my aunts gave a wonderful toast about me and now wife. But; out of the blue, she chose this time to say the most hate filled things about her son, (My cousin and one of my best friends).
We were all mortified. Her son had a blank look on his face, then got up and left the reception.”
The Ring Bearer Marked His Territory
User Jackwithnoname thought that using the family dog as the ring bearer would be a really cute idea. But as the dog walked down the aisle, he left a massive trail that smeared the aisle and left the guests holding their noses in disgust.
“Family dog was the ring bearer. The ring bearer took a shit on the way down the aisle.”
His Cousin: The Homewrecker
People stealing husbands is nothing unusual, but Reddit user Paperclip1213 was totally surprised that his aunt was accusing his cousin of trying to hit on her husband. He also knew that there was a very good reason why this was impossible.
“My aunt (possibly an undiagnosed narcissist) accused my cousin of making a move on her husband. My cousin was 14 years old at the time.”
Thank You for Making Her So Tight
User Eldanno was flabbergasted when he heard the groom’s speech, but he wasn’t the only one. As soon as the groom turned to the bride’s parents, he thanked them for something not son-in-law should ever thank his in-laws for.
“A mate of mine went to a wedding last year where the groom and most of the ushers were Royal Marines. During the groom’s speech, in what one can only assume was a bet, he sincerely and with a totally straight face thanked the Bride’s parents for raising a daughter with such a tight c*nt.
Made him a legend in his unit but I don’t think his in laws are talking to him still.”
The Bride Was Seeing Red
Redditor Original_Mechgeek’s dad was having a tough time getting the ketchup to flow out of the bottle so he tried shaking it. But a bad motion left the bride seeing red in more ways than one and now the family no longer talks to him.
“My dad told me about this one.
He was at a wedding where there were all sorts of ‘pristine and exquisite’ sauces and garnishes (it was basically re-bottled ketchup, and mayo). And when people got their food they would just garnish it however they wanted, my dad reached for the ketchup and tried to get some out. But, keeping to the order of ketchup, none came out.
So he shook the ketchup like anyone else would to allow it to flow out. One problem, he forgot to put the cap on just as he shook it in a motion over his shoulder, who was behind him? The bride … in her white dress. Our family isn’t in contact with them any more.”
He Wished He Was An Only Child
User Khulling wished he was an only child, or at the very least not had the sister that got so drunk that he had to drive home. To make things worse, she pooped all over herself and he couldn’t even open the car windows.
“My sister got shit faced at my other sister’s wedding in front of her two young kids. She was trying to hook up with one of the groomsmen who had a girlfriend. Somehow it became my responsibility to drive her home.
At the beginning of the hour drive home she got sick and shit herself. My sister got married in December so I had to smell shit for an hour because it was too cold to roll down the windows.”