Dysfunctional families and parents come in many styles and carry out many different dynamics. One of the most damaging styles or dynamics is one where you are abandoned as a child or you live in fear of abandonment. This can be actual physical abandonment or emotional abandonment. Threats of abandonment are damaging also and are also common in these families. You may have lived in fear of being abandoned if you did not please your parent or caregiver.
When actually abandoned, the idea or core belief is established that you are unlovable or unwanted. When in relationships, there is a pervasive feeling and belief that the other person will eventually be gone. These trust issues tend to hang on for life if not addressed.
You grow up with a fear that unless you control every aspect of the other person’s life, they will end up leaving you. Generally, this has been seen to transform into abusive behavior.
Since you are constantly living in the fear of abandonment, you will start overthinking and overanalyzing every situation and every person in your life which will lead to anxiety disorders.
These are quite common among the people who have been abandoned as children. Given the fact that they are not able to form the initial bonds of attachment with their parents, they tend to retain those emotions and have a hard time committing to other people in their lives later on.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Given the fact that the people have to pretend that everything is fine with them after they are abandoned, they tend to form different personalities according to the people that they are around.
You begin to find love and support in the people who are around you because you were denied the self-confidence and support as a child. These issues can be quite serious later on in life.
When you are denied the love and support of a parent in your childhood, you tend to develop a clingy behavior with the people that come later in their lives.
You tend to develop compulsive behaviors since your feelings become excessive, all-consuming, and interfere with your daily life.
This is one of the most common disorders that develop in people who are abandoned as children. They tend to have poor mental health and have to depend on medical assistance in order to recover.
Abandonment in your childhood can lead you to run too fast into relationships and take what comes your way without considering if they are good for you.
Lack of confidence, self-esteem issue
You tend to blame yourself on your parent walking out of your life and that leads to low self-esteem and confidence since you do not believe yourself to be worthy of love.