When you need to cuss but can’t use your favorite curse word, try these swear word alternatives from real parents who use them in front of their own kids. We asked moms and dads what they say instead of swear words when they get the urge to curse in front of their kiddos. Here are our top 10 favorite responses, which we might just start using ourselves!
Dog-faced head of a stupid horse
“My mom used to say it when she was really frustrated; now I do as well.” –Jenny Marie Gennuso
Juice box
“In exchange for d-bag, I call someone a juice box.” –Jessica Christine
Shiitake mushrooms
“Shiitake mushrooms in place of the lovely S-word. You still get all the goodness of the ‘sh’ and the ‘t,’ with none of the bad.” –Jeanette Lopez
Son of a biscuit eater and fudge cake
“Son of a biscuit eater and fudge cake. Apparently, I think of food when I’m angry.” –Raya Whitworth
Shizz-mah-nizz
“Shizz-mah-nizz is usually what comes out when I’m about to curse and look up to see little wide eyes, so have to do a quick change.” –Crystal Price
Heavens to Betsy
“Heavens to Betsy, because I like to sound like I’m 80.” –Anna Kirschbaum Frary
Holy smokin’ applesauce
“Stub a toe and ‘holy smokin’ applesauce’ does the trick quite well. Plus I get a few giggles from the kids.” –Amanda Buchanan
Mother-
“I just say Mother and leave off the second word. Pretty sure my son thinks mother is something you say when you get hurt and nothing to do with the word mommy.” –Jacqueline Borchert
Holy mother of a roasted butt
“Any random words that come to mind; I think the last one was holy mother of a roasted butt…” –Cassandra Lee Dixon
Sugar Snap Peas
“We say Sugar Snap Peas! My toddler now says it when he’s playing with blocks and they aren’t cooperating with him.” –Amanda Tartaglia