In this season where we focus so much on finding the perfect presents to light up our child’s eyes and bring magic to their lives, it’s worth remembering that the real magic is something closer to home. Miraculously, we as parents always seem to be gifted with the perfect child for us, meaning that somehow our children always seem to awaken whatever we need to heal. If we can accept that gift with an open heart and work on ourselves, we transform. If we resist and blame our child for “misbehaving,” it’s almost like blaming the mirror for our reflection. And we burden our child with our own unfinished business. How can we heal our own baggage, to become the parents we want our children to have?
Pay attention
Whenever we get “triggered” we’ve stumbled on something that needs healing. I know that can be hard to accept, but if your buttons are getting pushed, they’re YOUR buttons. Not that kids don’t act like kids — they always do! Often their behavior is off-track and needs to be redirected.
But if you didn’t have a hot button there, you wouldn’t take it personally — so you would be able to respond more calmly and effectively to your child’s behavior.