Things Parents Say that Ruin Their Kids’ Trust

Invoking your own childhood in an unrealistic, idyllic way

If you want your child to feel safe sharing important and personal information with you, you have to make it completely safe to do so. That means not judging or explaining how you would never have made these (read: dumb) choices. It doesn’t mean that actions don’t have consequences—only that your child can come to you with issues, or when they’re in a pickle. “It’s very important for parents to show their child appreciation for confiding or sharing things that are difficult,” Dr. Bernstein says. “Too many parents let their own anxiety lead to judgment instead of thanking their child or teen for taking the risk to share difficult feelings.”