It’s possible to have trouble getting pregnant no matter what age you are. When women are still in their teens or early 20s when they become pregnant, they face a unique set of obstacles and problems. These might range from the disruption of their education to tensions within their families to the possibility of lacking resources or support. Pregnancies that occur when women are older have their own unique set of challenges, including doubts about the quality of the eggs produced, disruptions to the flow of work, and, in my case, an inability to conceive.
It took my husband and I some time to decide that yes, we did want to try for a second child while there was still a good chance for it to happen. “I was 40 when I had my first son, which was ultimately a very positive experience; however, it took both of us some time to decide that yes, we did want to try for a second child while there was still a good chance for it to happen.
We made the decision to begin trying once more when I was getting closer to the number 43.
It is never a good idea to google anything that is related to health, and this includes attempting to get pregnant after the age of 40. According to the articles I read, there was a good chance that I would have very little to no success conceiving without the assistance of assisted reproductive technology (IVF). Even if I did have any success conceiving naturally, my child would most likely be unhealthy, stupid, and depressed because of my advanced maternal age, the articles said.
But I was resolved to disprove the claims made in the papers.
The following twelve months were spent by my husband and I adhering to a regular sex routine, during which time I religiously used the Premium app and peed on sticks that were designed to assess my free follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) levels.
My OB-GYN expressed some cautious optimism about the situation. After passing my 44th birthday, I decided to get my hormone levels checked, and the results showed that they were on the average side of being low. She reassured me that I could become pregnant by natural means, but she made it obvious that the opportunity was dwindling quickly.
Was it reasonable for my OB-GYN to give me a generally favorable prognosis? Or was I squandering my time and effort by even attempting it? I talked to a few fertility specialists just for fun, despite the fact that I have zero intention of undergoing in vitro fertilization (IVF) because it is both too expensive and not certain, and I’m not the type of woman who is willing to “give yourself daily shots.”
One of the specialists I spoke to over the phone informed me that if I wanted to work with her facility, I would be obliged to use eggs from a donor. Every single specialist I talked to paid an initial consultation fee of at least $300 and had a waiting list that was at least a couple months lengthy before I could see them. I had mixed feelings about the prospect of shelling out more than 300 dollars a few months from now and being told that I would need to undergo IVF, especially given that I was already aware that this was not something I intended to do in the near future.
As a result, I came to the conclusion that the best course of action would be to proceed as though I did have some degree of control over the situation. I used pee sticks of the Premium brand to check my FSH levels twice a day, I had sexual encounters off and on throughout the day, and I tried to maintain a good frame of mind. I paid close attention to my diet, omitting nearly all sugar, meat, and processed foods from it, and I made it a point to get daily exercise in the form of a brisk walk lasting for a full forty minutes.
Taking things a step further, I also became a member of a group on Facebook known as Over 40 Moms/TTC. This was a community of over 5,000 very upbeat women who had already had children after the age of 40 or were in the process of trying to conceive.
There was an incredible amount of support there for me. Every day, ladies in their late 40s and even into their 50s posted about their pregnancies and experiences, and I found the encouragement they provided to be, uh, penetrating. I felt compelled to check in on a frequent basis just so I could read about the experiences, advice, and adventures of the other mothers and mothers-to-be.
A mother suggested that other mothers read a book titled “It Starts With an Egg,” which was written from the perspective of a woman who became pregnant. The book included a number of useful tips, such as maintaining a healthy diet, and also suggested a variety of vitamins and supplements that the reader should try out. I ended up using many of these suggestions. A friend of mine shared with me that her mother used the fertility medicine Clomid to conceive her daughter when she was 46 years old. I nixed that plan and, in the interim, ran a search on Google to find dietary supplements that were analogous to the active components of the medication. I then incorporated these supplements into my regular routine. I drank pregnant tea. And at that point, I surrendered all of my expectations and gave in to the course of events. I had all but given up.
You have probably heard other people’s experiences that are similar to mine, ones in which individuals have (nearly) given up hope, but suddenly they are offered a chance at survival. During the course of my second pregnancy, I was exposed to them on numerous occasions. Although I didn’t completely discount their claims, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes when I considered the possibility that something similar would occur to me.
At the age of 45 and a half, in the fall of the year, I became aware that I had not only missed my period but also that my breasts had grown to around 25 percent greater than their normal size. During a visit to my OB-GYN for a usual checkup, I convinced her to do a pregnancy test on me.
I informed her, “My period is five days late,” but she didn’t believe me. I was laughed at by her.
“Get an over-the-counter test in about a week,” she suggested.
“But, but … ” I exerted force. She asked me to urinate into a cup, and then she left the room for a few moments before coming back in to certify that I was, in fact, pregnant.
I was taken aback, and that made me very happy. My next step was to determine whether or not it would be possible to carry the pregnancy to term.
After a number of months of going through the process, during which time I was still pregnant, I started to feel optimistic about the possibility that I would have another child.
This pregnancy has been very different from the one I had when I was in my 30s, which was my last time I was pregnant.
I’m not quite as rested as I was. This pregnancy has resulted in a greater increase in my weight gain. I am craving bread like a beast.
It’s a little lady.
When I finally give birth to my second child, I’ll be 46 years old. I do have some concerns about how nursing and the baby stages will work out for me a half decade from now, when my kid will be six years old, in addition to the fact that I will still have my job and other duties in my life.
There is no way to choreograph life. Sometimes, things don’t work out the way we expect they will, and while this can be quite upsetting, it can also turn out to be a blessing in disguise. On the other hand, we ought to be careful about what we wish for because there’s a chance that we’ll actually obtain it.